Stay strapped with the POWER of a million SPICY peppers! In pink, of course.
This Mace brand pepper spray gun is the perfect companion to feel more secure. Get one for your mom, Dad, grad. Whomever.
You never know when you might just need to hose down a Nazi ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Don’t wait, get it on Amazon Prime Now! Link here.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. THE TIME TO WIPE YOUR GREESY TACO BELL POO ON THIS FACE IS NIGH!
Soil this toilet paper with your period blood, crap, piss, shit, vomit, you name it. Give it the works.
Grab a roll and one for your homies here. Amazon Prime, so it’ll be making contact with your asshole in no time.
Here it is ladies and gentlemen. The holy trinity of hot sauces. 25 individual packets each of Tapatio, Cholula and Sriracha.
Stay strapped with the sauces that matter. Never eat your Chipotle burrito with that Tabasco devil sauce again.
We think 16 bucks for 75 packets and piece of mind is a pretty damn good deal.
Be that asshole, but never lose your glasses again with these Chum’s glasses leash thing.
*Technically it’s called an eyeware retainer. Anyways fuck off.
We like ’em in gummy worm tie-dye, but theres tons of colors here.
Mesmerize yourself, your girlfriend or just your cat with this spinner toy.
Have you ever seen these things in action? It’s 12 dollars. Why not?
BUY it HERE!!
Nourish tus manos to the tune of vanilla and orange.
Comes in one of those fancy steel tubes. You know what it is.
BUY! Amazon Prime of course.
Get cute and a little bit tacky with this sushi making kit.
Okay. Maybe a lot a bit tacky, but so what…look at that heart roll bitch!
BUY IT HERE
More camping gear. You can never have enough.
Never drink instant coffee again. This Japanese design looks great and collapses like a spring for thin, lightweight storage.
BUY it here.
*Mug not included
Go camping this year and be prepared to see what the hell you’re doing at night with this nifty little lantern.
Not very outdoorsy? No problem. Keep one in the car for emergencies.
100 lumens. Dimmable for tent sexy times.
Buy one here.
We’re living in Trump’s America now ladies (and gentlemen).
35 million volts at your disposal.
Rechargeable. Pink. What else do you want?
Well…Donald Trump is president now. That’s okay though. Everything is going to be FINE.
Burn some balsam and get back to work.
Buy Paine’s famous balsam fir incense here
Morihata Binchotan charcoal eye mask.
Binchotan charcoal has been produced in Japan by skilled artisans since the Edo period. Activated charcoal deodorizes, relaxes, and relieves toxins from the skin.
Made in Japan.
Buy it here.